The lab went out to a bar at Inman Square. Marc drove me, Philip and Dan there, but came back with me, Philip and Gal.
I think I had fun. On our way back I was sitting next to Philip. His shoulder pressing on mine and I can feel the warmth radiating from his body. Philip is so cute and adorable. I like his silky hairy arms; I like his cute voice; I like the smart things he has to say even though I could deconstruct them in a second. I like his physicality; I like his personality. I like his baby fat. He looks so huggable
I don't even know Philip. I just find him attractive and appealing. I'm also worried that I might cling onto the idea of liking him because I'm afraid of not knowing that I can have feelings for people again.
In full confession I feel so messed up. I want to find someone who's equally messed up to grow with me. The likely candidate would be Stefan, the only impediment being his declared heterosexuality. I think we did grow up, only that we're fated to grow apart however. But I'll still love him.
So much sentiments emanating from my every skin pore.
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