June 27, 2013 (Thursday)

It is important and substantial to my life history and present integrity to note that on the evening of June 25 (Tuesday) while in the laboratory, I asked Philip if he wanted to come over to my place as I had planned to make fried rice, an invitation which he declined. I am nevertheless happy.

Today's evening, Emmy strongly confronted my lack of consideration for other people, about how I attempt to withhold information to retain power. I said I regret if I hurt her feelings, and only that much I am willing to concede. I am sad that once again my apparently incapability to care had offended other people and friends, especially in this instance or relationship when I have already been conscious of my lacking of concern for her. I said lacking, which should not be construed to mean complete lack of care.

I am scared that our friendship is over.

I wrote on a piece of paper -

"I am a subject. I am a subject. I am a subject. I am a subject. I am a subject. I am a subject. I am a subject. I am a subject.

I will not apologize save for instances in which apology would repair, compensate, remedy for a person's dignity, feelings, and integrity, and only when I voluntarily, wholeheartedly agree to be at fault. Apology will only be offered to the extent of my fault."

Strange, I spent all afternoon thinking about how I hate my father and will not apologize for that vicious sentiment. The evening concludes on a similar theme, with a friend accusing me of ...... a crime which hasn't even been articulated fully! I told her through facebook -

"I find today's exchanges totally shocking. The interactions among people is frequently so subtle that language will not give a full account of the reasons behind any friction. I regret if I hurt your feelings."

June 16 2013 (Sunday)

I skipped work on Tuesday, that's why I planned on getting to the lab today, even though it was a Sunday.

I went to the lab at 1. A graduate student Cabanas was using the microscope. I was not happy because I signed up for the microscope. I raised my voice and told him to sign up for the microscope if he wanted to use it so I didn't have to travel to the lab for no reason.

 I felt happy I could raise my voice again.

 Earlier on Saturday I went to Moody Street because there was some music festival going on. An old woman played this song on an instrument I'd never seen before.


 

June 05, 2013 (Wednesday)

I did invite Prasanna over for dinner. He asked if Avinesh could come, and I said yes.

I stir-fried the chicken that was meant for Helen and Gil's dinner, and omelette with spinach, peppers and mushrooms. :)

Even though Prasanna was a year older than Avinesh, apparently they knew each other's lives pretty well. Avinesh speaks very naturally and was very conversant and sociable. Both of them seemed to follow global political news.

We shared the only can of Budlight I had in the fridge. It was nice.

There will be a party at Turner Street this coming Saturday. Maybe I might just go. Hah!

June 04 2013 (Tuesday)

I made dinner for Philip and Helen.

I had intended to make dinner for Philip and Helen.

I made
(i) spinach soup with beef meatballs

with rice.

The dinner was set at 7, but Helen had to catch the commuter rail at 7:40. How ridiculous!

Had she been able to stay, I would have made the chicken stir-fry, which tastes yummy.

Philip says the soup tastes good.

Helen says the soup is good "for an Asian men."

zzzzz.....

I know they both meant well.

I might have dinner with Prasanna tomorrow evening. Hah!